its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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