Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
