It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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