I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
