It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
