im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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