Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
