Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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