she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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