you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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