I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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