Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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