I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i love accidental penises.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Randomize