hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
pray to the hookup gods
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
