i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
