you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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