No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
