He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
