oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
