theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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