so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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