No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
