Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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