i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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