Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize