Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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