Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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