that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
