Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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