dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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