so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
