She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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