PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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