It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
