Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
