it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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