When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
