id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
40s are totally the cure
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
