Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
