and you said cock pushups were impossible
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
