just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
