somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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