Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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