your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
