id be glad to
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
