he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
