My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
