I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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