how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
