Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
