This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
