First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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