we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
