he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
