I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
