I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory