and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
