I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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