i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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