What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
