I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
